He would hate all the fuss, he hates the idea of going to hospital (he's worried he might get sick). I don't really know how much info to put up, he's a pretty private guy. The upshot is he's pretty sick, he has been ill for months now, but at least now he's in the best place possible to get better. We're assured he will be okay, but he has a hard road in front of him, and is likely to be in hospital for a month or so. Hopefully this will encourage him to make some healthier lifestyle decisions (like give up the 2 pack a day smoking habit) when he gets home.
I am feeling really strange about this (yes, I know it's not all about me, but this is my blog right here). Of course I am worried for my Dad, and also worried for my Mum, who's worried for my Dad. And my sister. And.. well, you know, everyone. But I am also a bit angry at him, Dad never really gives his health priority, which I know is very much A Man Thing, but still. Then of course I feel guilty for being angry at him.
Before he was admitted, we were told he was finally convinced by his Doctor to go to hospital to get some tests. I though, "Good, about bloody time!" and was quite umm, blasé, I guess, about the whole thing. So he was meant to go Wednesday morning. Wednesday night I went to see him (he was still in the ER treatment room, waiting on a bed) after work, and was pretty stunned to see how sick he was. It's not like he'd been bouncing around like the Energiser Bunny at home, he'd been quite ill actually, but he looked miserable. And sicker. Shouldn't he look better? Maybe everyone looks sicker in hospital??
Then by the time I went to see him Thursday afternoon, he was in the ICU, unconscious, tubes and wires and what-not everywhere. I was okay at the hospital, and having a quick take-away dinner with Mum afterwards, I was more trying to figure out how okay she was, then on the car trip home... I certainly didn't feel blasé. I felt, shaky, anxious, guilty for being so la-de-dah before. Being the awesome decision maker that I am, I pulled into a servo in the middle of my teary moment and bought a pack of cigarettes (GG was at my Aunt's). Yes, that's me - my Dad is in hospital mainly because of the effects of smoking, I have given up (other than alcohol-related incidents) for a few years now, and what do I do, WHAT DO I GO AND BLOODY DO?!?!?!? Anypuff, I got home, had one, felt sick and threw the pack in the top junk cupboard. Then I berated my queasy self for being so stupid (so Mum, really, you don't need to bother).
And they'd shaved his beard. My Dad has always had a big, black beard (yes, he's a biker, no, he's not a pirate) and it was weird how different he looked without it. I can see his resemblance to his Mum now. It also made him look sort of vunerable. Mum tells me he once shaved it when I was a toddler and when I saw him I screamed, I didn't recognise him... it's kinda the same now. I don't recognise this vunerable, sick man, he doesn't look like my big, burly, Dad.
I'm going to write some more about my Dad, they kind of guy he is, and the lessons he taught me as a Dad, but I need a bit of time to get my head together. He is having an operation on Tuesday, and it would be pretty nice if you could send some positive vibes out for him. Thanks.
Aww hun sending tons of prayers and well wishes for your dad. You seeing your dad without his beard would have been about like me seeing my dad without his trademark salt and pepper wavy black hair. I cried when he got so ill from his cancer his hair literally turned shocking white. His wife would do nothign with it, not even bring a stylist to cut it for him.. still makes me so mad cause my dad was so picky about his hair..ReplyDelete
Positive vibes coming at ya in droves. Thanks for sharing this with us. I can so imagine how you are feeling. Thinking of you Quixy, hope your Big Burly Dad will be back to his old self soon xxxReplyDelete
All of your emotions and reactions are completely normal. We're hardwired to think our parents are invicincible, when that invincibility cloak is lifted (as it so often is) it's a shock to us as children.ReplyDelete
Don't forget to take care of yourself through this. Your dad has lots of people taking care of him. He and your mom will need you to be strong.
Know our thoughts and well wishes are with you.
Praying for your dad! Big hugs and love sent your way too. Being responsible for your parents is hard, hard work. Be strong (is it dumb that I think of you as coyote life?)ReplyDelete
You got it, I'm sending positive vibes, Girl!! Prayers, too, both for his strength, and yours! Hang in there!!ReplyDelete
I will certainly keep you and your Dad in my prayers. Bless your heart sweet lady!ReplyDelete
I'm sorry to hear that - will be praying for you guys! Best wishes.ReplyDelete
Dropping by from SITS....I hope your dad gets better soon!!ReplyDelete
Visiting from SITS sending you lots of prayers! Hope your dad gets well soon.ReplyDelete
Brittany @ Not Your Average Teen
What a beautiful post L. I love your writing and you should be proud of your beautiful post about your Dad. Only mistake you made is putting cigs in top cupboard and not the bin!!Please, please, please do NOT start smoking again. If you do I may have to kill you (would be quicker than the smnoking way).ReplyDelete
Oh, sweetheart! I am sending out all kinds of good feelings toward him! I will pray for him tonight as well!ReplyDelete
I am so sorry you are all going through this! Now, go throw away that pack of smokes!
Hugs for your dad. There is always a gamut of complex contradictory emotions when a parent or close family member gets sick, don't give yourself a hard time about it, you've got enough on your plate. I hope your dad gets better soon.ReplyDelete
Hey, hope your dad continues to improve. Yes he is in the right place, sounds like he sought help just in time. Be prepared for the possibility of the odd backward step and don't be afraid to ask the nurses and docs a million questions. No matter how prepared you think you'll be, it's always hard to see a close loved one so sick. Thinking of you and your family at this time.ReplyDelete
He's on my prayer list as are you.....ReplyDelete
Hope he gets better. So hard to see your parents in hospital and like you said, vulnerable. They are always the ones that look after us so it's scary when the roles are reversed. good luck mate xReplyDelete
I have sunshine for you at living my life, whatever
Come and get it.
I'm so very sorry. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.ReplyDelete
Sending GOOD VIBES to you from Seattle. Hope your dad is o.k. and he's lucky that his daughter loves him so much that she's writing and thinking about him! Peace to you, KathyReplyDelete
Thinking of you and your family right now. Hope everything goes well with the operation and your Dad is back on his feet soon. xxReplyDelete
Mega-good vibes from Colorado! I'm sorry your dad is in the hospital, but at least he's *finally* getten taken care of. And, yes, I do think that people look sicker in the hospital; it's got to be all the tubes and wires and such.ReplyDelete
Positive vibes to your Dad for tomorrow's operation. Sounds to me like he's a pretty cool guy and I hope he's back on his feet giving you a hard time soon! :)ReplyDelete