Due to an excess of alcohol consumption (and a cracking good time D&G!!) last night, I have decided that I too, am in need of a bright, fresh mind to offer some respite to my tired, seedy brain, who needs to switch off, sip tea and watch TV.
However, after a quick scan of my immediate surroundings, I realise there may perhaps be a shortage of Pulitzer-prize winning writers just waiting to help me out (besides, they'd just make me look bad!).
So without further ado, I would like to invite...
GG, my 2 year old daughter...
Hello people! Mummy bit tired, so me play on sacred GG-no-touch tonight! Yay!!! Me like talk to people, no like go sleep.
Me have fun today, me go swim. Mummy say somethin bout me too hyper, and she cranky at someone named Wine, say me need distracting. Don't know why she say this, me still no got a distracting, so why need one?
We go Ju-Ju's house, big swim, trampoline. Jump, jump. JUMP! Swing, WHEEEEE!!! Run, play ball with puppy.
Other kids there play Wii. Me no play Wii, Mummy say before me not allowed to play wee, it go in potty ONLY. Oh, Mummy say this Wii different, okay to play wif. Hmm, wonder will she say that tomorrow when I play wee at home?
Why Mummy's face green? Mummy looks tired, me think she need walk, so me sneak away so she come chase me. Hide n seek fun!!!
We all have take-way for dinner. Me pretend no hungry, then when get home make Mummy make dinner. Ha, ha. HA!!!
Oh-tay, me go now, Mummy look tired, maybe I make her lie in my bed, I have to look affer my Mummy, she good Mummy, I just about got her trained.