2. Denial - No! This is not happening! I just fixed you!!!
3. Bargaining - OK, I tell you what. Start going to bed and staying there all night, and Mummy will buy you a present! Hooray!! Anything you like... Barbie doll, Princess dress, special light-up nighttime teddy, Ferrari Testarossa...
4. Guilt - Oh God, this is my fault, isn't it. Oh, my poor child, I've ruined you forever. Oh the shame, I'll be patting your back and singing Puff the Magic Dragon on your bloody wedding night, won't I!!!! How could I have let this happen? I just fixed you!!!
5. Anger - Grrr!!! This is everyone else's fault! Why didn't the Absurdly Happy Little Sears and Ferber Baby Book warn me I would be constantly re-training you? Every development stage, after an illness, after a holiday, getting a tooth, again and again - well screw them, and the horse they rode in on!!!
6. Depression - Abandon all hope, all is lost. Every single other child on earth sleeps, except mine. Where's the wine?
7. Acceptance - You know what? I love you kiddo, and if you need my help for a little while longer, that's okay. And if you need to snuggle up in Mummy's bed and let me breath in your delicious smell and feel your warm little hand on my neck, well, that's okay too.