Saturday, December 19, 2009

Some observations...

Dear Robina Shopping Centre Management,

After visiting your fine mega-shopping complex in order to complete my Christmas shopping, I would like to offer the following observations.

1. Thank you for installing the snazzy little parks assist light dealies in the new parking lot. It certainly does make life easier. Especially when you zoom 3 aisles over 'cos you see a green "vacant" light, only to find a freakin motorcycle (which evidently does not set off the switch to "occupied") parked there.

2. I fail to see how me moving said motorcycle to a handy unobstrusive spot can be wrong. Or how say, after 2 hours of looking for a park, pushing it off the 3rd level balcony would also be wrong.

3. Compliments on the renovations and expansion. I'm sure the new Myer store will be awesome. One does wonder however, at the intelligence of closing a large and popular parking lot during construction of said Myer store, just in time for the holiday season.

4. Speaking of questionable intelligence, where do you find your holiday casual retail staff? Is there a bank of them somewhere, kept locked away the rest of the year, allowed out only to renew and multiply their piercings, audition for reality tv shows and attend court dates?

5. Surely it can't be illiegal to run down the middle aged blonde, so totally absorbed in texting on her mobile that she hasn't looked up for 2 full minutes, and making a beeline straight for your fully laden shopping trolley. Surely it's like shipping laws, the more manouverable vessel must yield? No??

6. Just to satisfy the conspiracy theorist in me... is it at all possible that you employed some Machiavellian retail-psychology based scheme in construction of your shopping centre, ensuring that every store most likely to be required a visit, must be located as far as humanly possible from each other, in order to have poor lemming-like shoppers walk past as many other, lesser stores, sales, promotional counters and leaflet hander-outers as possible? Also possibly ice cream stores?

I trust you will take these observations in the helpful spirit they are intended, and I look forward to seeing the changes you thus implement as a result on my next visit.

Thank you for your time,



  1. Once again hilarious !!!!!! So you have lights that tell you when a parking space is vacant?? That is awesome!! I wish we had that here!!

  2. I always like to hear about the employee personalities! They are so much fun to play with during the holiday season.

    Super fab post! Exactly what your 'Blogger With Attitude' award was all about!

  3. I think you should take a picture of this so-called "snazzy parking lot" and send it to me, because, frankly, I don't believe it exists. ;) Can't you see those implemented in all Texas WalMarts? lol Those with the biggest truck wins!

  4. lol - I'll try and get a pic when I go back tomorrow and pick up the swing set... stay tuned!! Although it's not terribly exciting, just a rack of lights above the car parks, green if they are empty, then when a car pulls in, they switch to red. Not sure if it's a laser thingy or a weight sensor - hmm, now I'M intrigued...


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