Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Cougar vs Lioness

Okay. A confession. Even though I am a fully fledged, bona-fide grown-up, I still get a little intimidated by groups of teenage boys. Especially, like today, when I have to touch one of them up.

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No. No Cougar Alert necessary.

So I'm walking with GG at the local swimming pool for our swimming lesson, and the place is SWARMING with high school kids, especially the man-boy variety. You know the type... practically full-grown, with 2 year old brains, full of bravado and braggadocio.

These are the ones that still make me nervous, a left-over from when I was hot and blonde, and had to be on my guard. Now of course, I'm a fatty-bow-batty and therefore, thankfully, invisible. Although maybe I really did become invisible today, because as we are walking along a passageway, one of these man-boys, fully engrossed in telling a story that seemed to mainly involve the words "and shit" and leading a pack of 5 or 6 similar man-boys, was walking along, back to us, and he was about to mow down little GG.

So I did the polite little, "Whoops, 'scuse us!"... didn't hear me. Then I did a louder "ExCuse Me!", he glanced over his shoulder, and kept going. Okay... Mummy hackles up.

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Right before he is about to run over my 2 year old daughter, I shout "HEY!" and slam the heel of my hand right in the small of his back. This stops him in a big hurry, and he and his mates smack into each other, domino-style.


He spins around, all arked up and WTF'ed. I'm shitting myself, but I always give good front. He's embarrased, and his mates are laughing at him, not how man-boys like to be perceived. Makes them tetchy. I'm trying to go for light, but pretty sure I'm glaring, "Whoops, 'scuse us".

He mumbles something and moves to let us pass. Phew.



  1. Once again .. you are THE LOST TRIPLET!!!!!!!! So a woman after my own heart. You truly have spunk- I like it!!!!

  2. Man-boys you sum up their genre nicely!
    I know that feeling. well written

  3. I really enjoyed your website! Your blog is wonderful reading. Have you heard of Danny the Dragon? One of my favorites, and worth a visit as it is the nominee for Best Children’s Picture Book of 2009! http://DannyTheDragon.com

  4. Hmmm.. okay, thanks Danny for your vague, generalised, form-letter nod at my blog, and of course your shameless plug. Good luck, tosspot.

  5. You had me wheezily giggling at the "fatty-bow-batty" comment. Made my gut wobble, in fact. Aherm.

    Loved your story! Man-boy is a totally fitting name for the age bracket you describe. And why are they always grouped at pools like that?

  6. Crack up! Fatty-bow-batty, too funny!!
    Yup, this could be me too.
    How old do you have to be before that feeling goes away?


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