Friday, January 8, 2010

Advice for Husbands

In the spirit of inter-gender relations, I would like to share this ancient text, scribed by the Venutians for the benefits of poor misguided Martians everywhere...

Martian Survival Guide for Successful Co-Habitation with Venutians

1. Thou shalt not wander into thine own kitchen and wonder out loud where anything is kept. This is your domain, your kingdom; become familiar with it.

2. Thou shalt not refer to caring for thine own offspring as ‘babysitting’.

3. A smart Husband remembers his True Love’s birthday, but forgets her age.

4. Thou ist not ‘helping’ when performing household chores. Unless you live in the yard, this is also your castle to maintain.

5. If thou wishes the carriage to be driven to thine exact wishes, kindly drive the cursed thing thineself.

6. If thou cannot make a decision, thou hast no right to complain when one is made for thee.

7. When thine True Love states she is “Fine”, throw chocolate at her and run for the door.



  1. I wish that I had to pay heed. The shoe is on the other foot in my house, especially since we moved to a condo five years age. My wife has just not been with it; and then she was just diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's.
    Not to complain or be a downer. Life goes on. We deal with it.

  2. I like when they do the dishes and than stand there looking at you like they are waiting for their damn gold medal......makes me want to karate chop him in stomach.

    New follower, btw. Love this post!

  3. LOL - love this post and I needed a smile this evening. Thx muchly.

    Cait :)

  4. Love number 7 - think it should be embeddded in all wedding vowels. Why don't they understand what FINE means!! Enjoying ur work Quixotic - another new follower :)

  5. AMEN!!! Say it sistah!!! I love love LOOOVEEEE IT!! I just read it to my hubby. I was laughing- he looks confused.

  6. Grrr....number 6 should be number 1!

    Fabulous list and brilliantly presented!

    You are a force to be reckoned with my dear!

  7. LOVE it, as with everyone else, especially #7...and I love the book you're reading. xo

  8. Wait. Can you really make them live in the yard? How did I not know this?!

  9. Eh-xcellent! Seriously considering printing out and posting on the fridge.

  10. I especially like the last tip!

    Visiting from SITS.

  11. No matter how many times over the last 17 years I have explained to my beloved that he is not actually unstacking the dishwasher "for me", he still thinks this display of affection is outside his job spec. I usually get narky and hand him the loo brush. Now this is real love - anyone for explosive diarrhoea??


Hi! Thanks for leaving a comment. :)