Slackness, thy name is Quixotic

So about a million years ago, Soy Mami y Mas awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award.

There. Innit pretty? I'm really still thrilled to get these little awards, even though *polishes nails on her lapel* I've gotten quite a few by now. And Versatile certainly sums up my schizophrenic subject matter.

I have enjoyed Connie's blog for quite a while now, and after wondering for ages what the title meant, and thanks to Google Translator, was very pleased to find out it means "I am Mum and more". This sums her up very well, she writes beautifully about her miraculous blessing of a daughter, as well as some really deep stuff.

Now, the rules that are bestowed along with this blog say I have to tell you seven things about myself, but honestly, there's not a lot I haven't covered before. Which is why, lucky reader, I have decided to take up Tulpen's tag on her blog, Bad Words. This chick is seriously cool, hilarious and refuses to let raising two kids, one with special needs, make her grow up. She recently tagged me to answer eight questions of her own making, so you are getting real value for money here people!

1: Desert island time: What kind of chips do you bring?
You read my mind. I have been totally craving Pringles chips (original flavour, sour cream at a pinch) lately, and have been known to destroy a whole tube in one episode of House.

2: Speaking of chips. Double dip: Yes or No? Come on, nobody is watching.
At home, absolutely! Out, only when my margarita intake has surpassed my social conditioning.

3: You can only have ONE; your computer or your TV?
Duh, the computer, cause I can watch TV on it anyway.

4: Cheesecake: Proof that God exists and wants you to be happy, and fat. Yes or no?
Hmm. Proof that God exists and wants me to be happy, and proof that the devil will always punish happiness!

5: Farts are always funny. Yes or no?
Sometimes funnny, sometimes a Career Limiting Move. Depends on your boss. No, I don't want to elaborate.

6: Got kids? Watch Disney or Nick? What's your favorite? Don't got kids? You're watching way better TV than I am. You suck.
Ah yes, kid's shows. The only thing I seem to get to watch regularly these days. I am quite partial to Jane and the Dragon, and the old favourites Sesame St and Play School. My 3 year old Gorgeous Gal's favourite show? Masterchef.

7: Glee?
Yes please. Why couldn't my school have had show choir? Oh right, it probably did, but I was too busy being a bad girl and smoking and kissing boys behind the bike sheds.

I wish more of life was narrated by a nifty song choice and my friends spontaneously bursting into choreographed back up dancing. Not that that stops me bursting into song on a regular basis, it'd just be nice if people stopped looking at me so strangely when I did.

8: Really embarassing guilty pleasure. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. And mine is pretty embarassing.
You mean other than the fact I eat a whole tube of chips, douple dip them, once farted in front of my boss and burst in song at random intervals? hmmm...

Oh! I got one. I totally love to watch the TV show Wife Swap. The U.S. version. It's hideous, trashy, horrible, horrible T.V. and I love it!!! If you don't know what I am talking about you haven't lived! They take two familes, diametrically opposed in their lifestyle and beliefs, then make the women live in each others homes for two weeks. Just sit back and watch the familes implode! I call it Train Wreck T.V., I know it's awful, and I shouldn't look, but I am morbidly curious and can't look away.

So there you go folks, more useless random triva about me.

Things I've Learned in Life

1. No matter how loud you yell at it, laundry does not put itself away.

2. You can please some of the people all the time, and even all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time.

3. You need to make very clear to husbands that the ‘no metal in the microwave’ rule also applies to alfoil.

4. You cannot control what people do, even the things that make you crazy, but you can control how you react to them.

5. Everyone you feel envious of has things in their life you would never wish for.

6. Be DAMNED careful what you wish for.

7. Money won’t make you happy, but a lack of money sure as hell doesn’t either.

8. You will always, always, always run into ex-boyfriends, high school crushes and potential employers when you look like crap. I’ve done all three, and I think I was wearing the same pair of sweats for all three!

9. Ironically, shampoo stains carpet, and doesn’t clean it. It will also foam to roughly the size of Uluru if you try and clean it up using a wet cloth.

10. Some days are just shitty.

11. Some days, just smelling your daughter’s hair, damp from the bath as she snuggles up for a cuddle, can make a shitty day disappear and your heart smile.

Is there anything about me you don't already know?

I am soo slack – last week Tony over at Artisan of the Human Spirit passed on the Honest Scrap Award to me. Even though I already had it, I still am very chuffed and appreciative.

In further laziness, a few weeks ago the fun-tabulous Dual Mum over at We’re at Dad’s That Week gave me the Over the Top Award.

For this award I'm supposed to answer a huge list of questions, so here goes:

1. Where is your cell phone? Broken. This is a fate that regularly befalls any technology that spends time in my company.

2. Your hair? On my head, dufus, where else?

3. Your mother? Amazing, inspirational and appreciated.

4. Your father? Tough, but taught good lessons.

5. Your favourite food? Anything I didn’t have to cook!! Probably seafood, or Italian – hmm... pasta marinara maybe??

6. Your dream last night? Weird. I have very bizarre, very vivid dreams. I also (apparently) talk in my sleep, which hubby finds endlessly enlightening and amusing. This is because (apparently) I will respond to questions and am bluntly truthful and without artifice when sleep-talking!

7. Your favourite drink? I’d love to say something cool, alcoholic and trendy, but it’s really a good cup of tea.

8. Your dream/goal? To be a published writer, and to teach primary school. And to raise happy, healthy children. And have an awesome marriage. And possibly be a rock star.

9. What room are you in? Lounge room.

10. Your hobby? Blogging!! Duh!!!! Recently discovered gardening. Would love to get back into horse-riding, but too expensive and all-consuming. I have an addictive personality.

11. Your fear? Many, but the only thing I’m truly terrified of is something harming my family, especially my child.

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy.

13. Where were you last night? At home, doped up on Sudafed and chocolate.

14. Something you aren’t? Famous. Yet.

15. Muffins? Apple and raspberry.

16. Wish list item? Hmm... there’s nothing I really need in my life. Oh! A new vacuum, a Dyson preferably! Oh my God, how mundane and Suzie Homemaker my life is... or possibly it’s full of everything I need already, yeah, that’s better - I’m going with that!

17. Where did you grow up? Gold Coast Hinterland, roaming the hills on horseback, playing in the creek with my friends, going to the beach as I got older. Pretty fricken perfect actually!

18. Last thing you did? Cleaned up the playroom.

19. What are you wearing? What are you, some kind of perv??!!

20. Your TV? On, playing NCIS on DVD. I tend to turn the TV on for company, to fill up a room, not to actually watch it. Though I do love me some NCIS...

21. Your pets? Asleep at my feet. Actually, asleep ON my feet. Warm. Nice.

22. Your friends? Diverse and beloved.

23. Your life? Not nearly as boring and mumsy-ish as this list makes it sound!!

24. Your mood? Recovering from a head cold, but happy.

25. Missing someone? My grandparents. Also my best friend, but it’s only distance that separates us, not the hereafter!

26. Vehicle? A black Mazda 6, usually driven too fast.

27. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes.

28. Your favourite store? A few years ago, I would’ve named some fancy boutique, but these days, I do most of my shopping at Target. I am surprisingly impressed.

29. Your favourite colour? Blue.

30. When was the last time you laughed? A few minutes ago.

31. Last time you cried? A few days ago.

32. Your best friend? Awesome!

33. One place that I go to over and over? Umm, work?

34. One person who emails me regularly? Some charming bloke in Nigeria, he has this dandy set-up where I’m gunna be rich!!

35. Favourite place to eat? Well, you can bet it’s not in the car, madly doing the kindy drop before work!

Yet Another NYE post.

I didn't really want to do 'yet another New Year post', as I'm not the biggest fan of New Year's Eve, I find it over-hyped and feel a false pressure that I have to have an awesome night, or the whole year ahead will be ruined.

Having said that, a whole decade has passed, along with a couple of pretty tough years at the end there, and I think that deserves a look back, if only to stop me being so negative in my feelings about them.

In the Noughties, I...

... met the love of my life.

... married him.

... had 9 different jobs, not including temp assignments! I also learned I have commitment issues.

... lost weight, gained weight, misplaced weight and found it again (was down the back of the couch). Funnily enough, I remained the same person, and was no happier thin than fat. Go figure.

... moved house 4 times.

... finally learned how to straighten my hair.

... lost all four of my Grandparents. I pray they still watch over me, and I remember the lessons they taught me more and more as I grow older.

... gave up smoking.

... became a Mother. Not to sound like a cliche, but it was simply the best thing that has ever happened to me. I learned what it is like to see your heart live outside of your body; that I will never have a perfect, calm, orderly life, and that I don't want one anymore; and most importantly, I learned that we are all part of something bigger, and that the world does not revolve around me.

... went from being part of a yuppie couple with ready disposable income, to part of a suddenly cash-strapped couple after a series of incidents. I also learned just how flippant and disrespectful of money I had been. It forced me to grow up, get a clue and now I am a marvel at what I can do with $4 worth of beef mince!

... stopped trying to over-think everything, and learned to just let what will be, be.

... saw my beautiful sister married, and subsequently knocked up. I can't wait for my niece or nephew in 2010!

... met some amazing friends, and whether they are still in my circle or have moved though, learned lessons from all of them.

... saw dear friends welcome babies into the world, and farewell ones they never got to meet.

... rediscovered my passion for writing.

... saw triumph, terror, tragedy and trivia all have their turn at dominating the news.

... wished someone would come up with a better term for the past decade than the 'Noughties'.

Have a great New Year's everyone, I hope 2010 is a wonderful year for us all.

Tag! I'm it!!

Well, even though I was usually the bad girl hiding behind the tennis courts having a cigarette in High School, Alex at Whoa Mumma managed to find me and involve me in a game of Tag. This is much better than any playground game though, as it's a Happiness Tag. I am to write 10 thing that make me happy, then pass it on.


So here they are; some are deep and serious, some are flippant and trivial - just like my moods!


1. Being a Mum. I never thought I would be one, never thought I would even want to be a Mum, and then shortly after I was married, a little stirring happened. We decided to try, and lo and behold GG came along and grabbed my heart. I gave it willingly and she never let go, I hope she never does.


2. A good hair day. You know when you've had more than 3.5 seconds to have a shower and get a chance to actually wash and condition in one go; it's clean and shiny, bouncy and sitting just right. Not like, say, now, where it's 3 days since I last washed it, lank and dull, scraped back in a ponytail.


3. Creme brulee. Need I say more?


4. That rare moment when the planets align, the Gods smile upon us and hubby and I get time together, having more than 5 mins before he dashes off again where we simply trade dot points of things we need to remind each other of. When for once we don't let the stresses of the day make us snarky and snipey, and we get real quality time together, time to be funny and silly, or cosy and cuddly.


5. I know it's a little bit naughty, but I like to break the rules. Not big ones, and nothing immoral, but silly little ones that irritate you - it makes me feel like somewhere under the sensible, responsible Mum I've become, there's still a little bit of rebel in me. :o)


6. That exhausted but happy high you get after a great workout. Go endorphins, go!!!


7. A great book, and the time to sit and read it properly, getting swept up in the story and tuning out the outside world. A glass of wine sitting alongside me completes this picture.


8. Driving fast, with a kick-ass song blaring on the radio.


9. Going out to the veggie garden with my daughter, fussing around and seeing plants actually growing yummy food for us, and watching as she tenderly waters them, pats them, talks to them and eagerly eats the beautiful, organic veggies I have learned how to provide for my family.


10. And of course, last but by no means least... COMMENTS!!!


Now, I know I am supposed to pass this on, but see Rule 5. :oP
If you want to pick up the tag, feel free!

And the Award goes to...

The totally divine Six Divided by Two has awarded my lil' ol' blog this:

Yay me! Being relatively new to the blogging world, it's lovely to get feedback like this!! I am totally thrilled, as I really like Six's blog, she has amazing taste and style, as well as moxie to burn. She is uplifting and funny, and she and her equally amazing twin sister at Six in One Hand are facing a tough time at the moment, so I'm sure they'd appreciate some bloggy love.

Now, the idea is to pass this on to some worthy bloggers, and then share 10 things about myself. So, without further ado, the girls I'd like to award are:

Whoa Mumma - Alex always amuses me with her dry, funny humour and her 12 week fitness challenge has just about convinced me to do the same. Seriously, she looks awesome! After 4 kids!!

Chronicles of Sharnia - This cool, funny chick is also a newly minted blogger and mummy, and her tales of a former city girl adjusting to life in her One Horse Town often has me in stitches.

Three Little Birds - Darnonymous is the author of this truly lovely blog. She is funny (hmm.. I'm noticing a pattern here!), touching and, having taken out the last two Blog This challenges, a very clever writer.

OK - so now for the 10 things about me. Here we go:

1. I am completely addicted to cups of tea.

2. I am completely over reality TV. Though I did watch the final of Idol, and I'll watch MasterChef if they bring back real people. Oh, and I don't mind Amazing Race. And does the Choir of Hard Knocks guy's latest show in the women's prison count as reality? Probably huh? OK, I'm completely over the idea of reality TV.

3. I know I need to get off my butt and lose some weight, but now that I am big, there is no way I'll go to an aerobics class and humiliate myself. Catch 22 much??

4. I am scared of heights. Seriously. I am also scared of the monorail-death-trap-thingy that takes you between the casino and Broadbeach Mall. The fact that my 2 year old daughter dances blithley onto this does not help me feel like a grown up.

5. Some days, I don't feel remotely like a grown up.

6. I wish I had travelled the world after leaving school, instead of shacking up with my teenage romance. Who could of seen that that would never last!?!?!?!

7. I love old school Billy Joel songs. Oh, and White Snake's "Here I go Again" it's my personal "break up song" that I always used to play to amp me up after a failed romance, and still love for some bizarre reason. I have even driven past my house and round the block, just so I could keep singing it at the top of my lungs!!

8. I am a really bad singer.

9. I really wish I could get my hair to behave. I could live with it being curly, just not frizzy. And I could motivate myself to straighten it, if it didn't go so flat.

10. I know how to give a horse a manicure.

There you go! I hope you go visit my bloggy girls, and I look forward to reading their "10 Things".