Saturday, May 1, 2010

First post flashback - I've been tagged!

I've been tagged by Corrine over at A Day in the Life to participate in a meme where we go back and re-visit our first ever blog post.

The idea is to see how far we've come, do we still write in the same manner etc., and examine why we started blogging in the first place.

I had been thinking about writing a blog for quite awhile before I actually put finger to keypad. My very tech-savvy sister had gotten me into the whole thing by sharing some of the blogs she followed, and it had stirred up a rememberance for my love of writing.

Plus, having recently become a Mum, I was incenced at all the bullshit out there that targeted mothers and parenting in general. So much conflicting advice, condescending "experts" and playgroup bitches out to judge your choices to feel better about their own.

Being plagued with self-doubt though, I assumed no-one would want to read my drivel and shelved the whole idea. Then a few people started interrupting my ranting and telling me I should write a blog. Then a few more. Then I decided that when the 10th person who didn't know I wanted to write a blog told me that I should, I would. They did, so I did.

I've got to tell you, even though my blog-frequency has waned of late, it is something I still really love and has saved my sanity a few times. Often I'm not even sure what I am going to say on a certain topic until I see it come from my fingertips onto the page. Certain posts have taken on a life of their own, and some have even come to me practically complete as I've lain in bed vainly trying to get to sleep. The fact that I've gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to get a post down is something I'm not sure I'm proud of or embarrassed by!

Blogging has helped me clarify my thoughts, explore my opinions, vent my frustrations, ponder my place in the Universe and meet some clever, charming, funny and just plain strange people!!

So without further ado.. my first foray into the blog-o-sphere...

Parenting and other sins

It seems just about everything we do with our children is causing them harm these days, doesn't it? Let them watch 10 minutes of Dora warbling away so you can have a shower, oops, you've stunted their IQ. Don't let them see a TV until they're 16, oh, you deprived them of so much educational opportunity! Smack them, you're a monster, don't smack them, they'll turn into little monsters themselves.

Is it just me, or have we lost our common sense? We are so desperate to "get it right", that we'll listen to anyone with an opinion, regardless of whether they have any expertise or, more importantly, any children themselves.

One of the hardest things I had to get used to when I had my Gorgeous Girl, was that loss of confidence in myself. I went from someone who was very good at my job, had clear opinions on pretty much everything, and felt capable to take on anything. Then I had GG and realised that I knew nothing. My most important job, and I had no qualifications, no experience (Irealised quickly nieces/nephews and friend's kids do not, in fact, give you a "taste" of parenthood) and no confidence in my ability. Luckily, I quickly regained my confidence that I was the best person to take care of GG, and I like to think I've done a pretty good job so far. She's certainly so delightful it makes it easy to think so.

I'm also lucky in that I have a lot of family support, and that they've respected the parenting decisions I've made, even if they haven't agreed with them. Big lucky there.

Trolling around on the internet (where I do all my important research), I noticed something... In our grandparents era, strictness was Godliness. Babies were to conform to a sleep routine, play mostly by themselves in a playpen or cot with just a few basic toys, and believe it or not, formula was seen as a scientific improvement on breastmilk. Then the pendulum seems to have swung the other way, and it was the complete opposite, feed on demand, and it better be breastmilk, sleep in a family bed, wear your baby in a sling and be at their beck and call within seconds of every whimper. Phew.

Could it be that this pendulum is still swinging, even if the arcs are getting smaller? When will we get to the middle ground, where parents feel they can make decisions about their own family and others will say "Great, glad it works for you." Obviously, some decisions are never OK - smoking when pregnant, abuse, driving drunk and getting 3 yr olds high are always going to be big no-no's, but really, is a bit of TV really so bad for kids? Will every child who has been allowed a bit of ice-cream be obese at age 30? Will a smack on a nappy-padded bottom by a loving parent really scar you for life?

I'd love to hear what you think...

There you have it folks. Oh, and if you're reading this, tag, you're it!!



  1. What a great first post! I think I will take up the challenge on two of my blogs; the third is only two weeks old, so I'm not expecting much change there.

    I'm all about parenting by common sense. My kids didn't have schedules, simply because I was too busy with three jobs to make sure they were always in bed by a certain time with a nice bedtime routine. They learned to sleep whenever and wherever - to this day they're very flexible and not so rigidly set in their schedules that they feel anxious. My friends flipped their lids that I didn't have a nice, calm bedtime routine. I felt a little guilty that I wasn't doing it "right", but like you, I quickly regained my confidence that I could make the right decisions for my kids. I also agree that a swat on the butt never hurt anything; one or two through toddlerhood saved me a whole lot of headache when they were older.

  2. Seems this meme has made it everywhere! This is a great first post. And yes, I think that pendulum is still swinging wildly to and fro and knocking out silly opinions as it goes. We forget that sometimes the best wisdom lies safely tucked within our own guts.

  3. As a mum of 4 kids, I'm still figuring out what works. I'd love to be strict. But my kids are basically very good and kind, and I am honestly so tired sometimes that I can't be bothered....parenting fail :)

  4. That is one awesome first post and is in fact evidence of why I love your blog. I totally feel the same way and know that those days when I feel somewhat in control of our house are to be enjoyed cos they're so few and far between. Yay for the blogosphere and knowing I'm not alone in trying to navigate these murky waters. xoxo

  5. Great post and its fun reflecting on the journey. So pleased that my blog reading is getting back on track so I can come and visit :)



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