Fashion Faux-Ga

OK, so I'm feeling a bit better today, well enough to be sitting stuck at home, bored, grumpy and watching Ellen.

And who does she have on today? None other than my favourite fruit-loop, Lady Gaga. Now I know I have blogged before about little miss oh-no-I'm-an-artiste and I don't want to cover old ground... but I'm gunna!

So she whacked on some latex and sang whilst sitting astride some poor backup dancer stuck hanging upside down.

Poor lass. I hope she got paid in more than sequinned undies and latex formalwear.

Anyhoo, after this song, she sat with Ellen for her "interview". What a stunted, awkward thing that was. Can we get some PR training to table 5, pronto?!

During this chat, Ellen asked her about her outfits and what makes her choose such out-there looks for her performances. Lady Gaga said she felt like she didn't fit in at high school (as an aside, does anyone feel like they did? Isn't that the whole point of high school?) and felt like an outsider, a freak. So she wears these outfits to let her fans have a safe place to let their inner freak flags fly, to let them know it's okay to be different.

Uh-huh.

This is obviously what all the little misfits have been doing wrong. Instead of trying to copy the cool kids and not quite pulling it off, thus consigning themselves to the nuclear wasteland of uncooldom forever (well, at least a couple of years), they should instead be like Lady. Just superglue your entire body, pour the contents of your feather quilt over said self, grab some ornaments off your Christmas tree and suspend them from your genitalia and you're good to go!

Wait til the cool kids see you now!

"Wow, Abigail, we can totally like see now, that you are totally like just a tortured artist, and we like totally get that now. Please, oh please, oh PLEASE will you be our super-best friend?? By the way, we are totally like sorry about the whole gaffer-taping you naked to the flagpole thing, but hey, looking at you now, maybe that's your thing. Like okay?"

Yuh-huh, I'm sure that's totally how it would go. Gimme a break.

Going Ga Ga

I caught Lady GaGa's latest single 'Bad Romance' on the radio just before. For the entire intro, I thought it was one of her other ones. Am I going crazy, or does the backing track to most of her songs sound pretty much the same? Don't get me wrong, they're catchy-ass tunes, and I like pretty much all her stuff, but maybe that's because it's all pretty similar?

And kinda repetitive. What happened? Did her manger wander on up, saying "Hey Lady, your next song is due, we need to record it NOW!"

"Well, gosh manager-type-guy, I just spend all night tethering live budgies to my frock, and I still have to hang this curtain rod strung with tinsel from my nipples and paint my face like a geisha; can't we just use the music from last time?"

"OK Lady, I guess, but what about content, you know, the lyrics?"

"Geesh, what with all the cleaning up after the budgies, I've only managed about 4 lines, just play them in different combinations over and over again. By the time the video is released, everyone will be too busy trying to see whether I have a penis to concentrate on the words!"

I'm torn on the crazy outfit issue. I get that she considers her outfits 'performance art' and just as important as her music, but maybe that's because without the outfits, she's just another blonde pop chick with a catchy song? I've seen her on Rove and in a few interviews on music shows etc., and she seems kind of dull actually, and quite stilted. Is she trying to have something interesting about herself, or is she just more at home singing, and a bit shy outside of her comfort zone?

Now I know I'm not one of the cool kids, and because I'm over 30 can't possibly be expected to understand modern music, but I WAS around for David Bowie (who she cites as a major influence) and I'm pretty sure Major Tom sounded different to Let's Dance.

Quixotic