Sometimes I am quite sure my life is some sort of cosmic sit-com, a la The Truman Show, where I reel from one crisis to another, all for the entertainment of some faceless, feckless deity who's sitting there mindlessly eating Pringles and texting their mates.
There's no other explanation really.
Remember this post, where I was getting all panicky and panty-twisty (thanks Gucci) about returning to full time work? Sure you do. I worked myself up into a total state, wracked with guilt over leaving Hannah, twisted with self-doubt as to whether I was even capable of the job.
Slowly, I came around, got down off my little ledge, convinced myself that it would be fine. No Bad Things would happen. I wasn't a bad, neglectful Mum abandoning her daughter; she would be in loving family care, except for her normal kindy days, I would be showing her that women can be mothers and have jobs outside the home, and I would be putting food on the table. We would all be fine and certainly, the bank balance would be a lot healthier.
Then, the Government department I was going to work for scrapped the project I would have been part of. Job gone.
I was flung back into a despair so angsty Edward Cullen would've eaten his left arm to be with me. I felt like a failure yet again for not being able to contribute financially to our desperately lean household. I felt desperate, scared and kind of pissed off. How can it be this hard for an intelligent, capable and willing woman to find a bloody job!?!?!
Then, there was probably an ad break.
Next, like a little ray of hope, I was asked to come for an interview next Monday for a part-time job I had applied for. Awesome!!! Now, your sit-com heroine has learnt her lesson though, people; I remained calm, I did not pin all my hopes and expectations on this interview. I did not take it as a forgone conclusion that once they had met me they would ask, nay beg me, to join their team. I played it cool, but secretly, was really, really hoping it would pan out, as the job is practically perfect for me.
I did however convince myself that it was all a sign, the Universe telling me that I wasn't meant to be working full-time, especially not so far away from home, and that it must mean there was something even better out there, just around the corner.
The more I thought about it, the more I came to the conclusion that I would stick to the search for a part-time job, it was only responsible after all, to be present more for my daughter's sake.
Just before the credits roll however, we need to have a twist. My trusty employment agency guy, who I had forgiven for the scrapped job dealy, rang and asked would I like to be put forward for another contract role he has just been given, this time as a customer service officer for Centrelink and Family Assistance (welfare office for my non-Oz homies). It did cross my mind that perhaps that's a bit like working in the unicorn section of a pet store, but hey, a job's a job! I'm actually a bit of a customer service nut, and thought maybe I could be a shining beacon of change for a jaded organisation, revolutionising the entire system. Humble I'm not.
Of course, this role would be full-time, but not as far from home, located only about 20 minutes away (in Bogan Headquarters, but I'm hoping this will just mean more blog fodder!!). I now needed to re-evaluate - did I want to stick with the program of looking for part-time work, or chase the prospect of a real, live job? Again I gnashed, worried, umm-ed and aw-ed, and decided to ask to be put forward. I am simply not in the position to not try my damndest to get any job going.
So he emailed me some testing and aptitude stuff, I did it at the kitchen table after I'd scraped off the dried up Play-Do and sculled a coffee for confidence.
And today, I was offered the contract! Full-time until October, possibility of being hired on by the Department if I am a go-getterer type, and full training provided at the outset.
Of course, my first day of work co-incides with the day of my interview for the part-time role, doesn't it? Of course it does!!!! Of course it bloody does!!!!
I tried sussing out whether I would be able to start the next day, or have the afternoon off (I used a Doctors appointment as a reason), but to no avail. I rang the company I had an interview with to ask if I could re-schedule. Left a voicemail message for the HR chick with no reply so far.
Gah!!!!!! Could someone give me next weeks script please, so I can at least be prepared?