Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A shot to the heart...

"I don't like you Mummy".

I know, I know, kids do this all the time - she's only 2, and she's just rebelling against the feeling of powerlessness she feels when I tell her she has to do something she doesn't want to.

But Oh. My. Lord. I was not prepared for how much that hurt. Tears immediately pricked at my eyes and I gaped at her. My loving little girl, who usually wraps her arms around me tight and whispers, "Guess what? I LUB you!" had just uttered her first negative opinion of Mummy.

Until now, I was loved beyond reason, preferred over all others, brave, strong, wise and beautiful (yes, I asked). Now... notsomuch.

I was unsure how to proceed, I didn't want to make a big production out of it, but I did want her to know that words can have an effect on people.

"GG, it's okay to feel cranky sometimes, but when you say that, you hurt my feelings."

"You got a sore feelings? Where your feelings?"

"No, I mean what you said made me sad."

"You sad now?"

"Well, yeah, I am actually."

"Oh, you wanna cuddle?"

"Yes please."

"I sowwy Mama", she whispered as she gave me a cuddle.

She soon returned to her usual sunny self and we had a great day together. Then at dinner after GG had finished and was playing in the next room - I was telling my husband about this, in a very light manner (making fun of myself for getting upset). Obviously I was overheard, as she decided to toy with my emotions again. She appeared at my side (hmm.. where does she get that sneaky gene from?) and told me again, "I don't like you Mummy". This time delivered with a huge grin. Maybe she thought because she heard me talking about it and laughing, that it was going to be a new game between us. Uh, no thanks. I gave her a deadpan look and got up and walked away.

I hear my husband tell her, "Uh oh, that's not a very nice thing to say, what do you say to Mummy?"

"Mummy?", she calls out.

"Yes, GG?"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I LUB YOU!!!!!!!!"


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14 comments:

  1. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW lovely. Except the first bit haha - no lovely. I am scared of the day Monte says something similar. He can't even say the Lub you bit yet (which just quietly I can't wait for) nor the You are beautiful bit (which I am training him on now haha, kidding) but you are making me look forward to that. I so feel for you, I am sure it will shoot me in the heart if I hear an ounce of negative feedback (that I am certain was not intended as your heart took it!!) xx

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  2. Wow, you're GOOD! I can't believe how expertly you handled that whole situation. Cheers to YOU!!

    I don't have children, and I think my reaction would have been intense crying, followed by me grabbing my child by the collar and screaming, "Love me, love me, LOVE ME!!" So, you know, probably good thing that I am childless!

    Thanks for the smile!

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  3. I'm really not looking forward to those moments...and I KNOW they will exist. No doubt there will be major paybacks for how much enjoyment I get out of watching our daughter walk towards her daddy with lips puckered as though to give him a kiss only to spin on her heel at the last moment and waddle/run in the other direction while looking over her shoulder laughing.

    She's 17 months

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  4. Appropriate response?

    Punching in the neck wouldn't be it, would it.

    Damn. I gotta line this stuff out before I procreate.

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  5. Aww itjust kind of rips your heart out to be the bad guy suddenly doesn't it. I have 2 boys and I still hurt when one of them lamblasts me for being the mean mommy.

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  6. My children never really said anything like this and for that I was so thankful. HOWEVER...now that they're teenagers...they can hurt me in ways I never imagined. I wish they'd just say that they didn't like me instead of being the little sh*ts they are now.

    Give GG all the squeezes and cuddles you can while she still tolerates them.

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  7. Well that just makes you weep a little, hmm? Sounds like you handled it pretty well, though! ;)

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  8. She's just easing you towards the teenage years, where she will most probably tell you she hates you on a daily basis!

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  9. I'm bracing myself for the adolescent years. My kid (3.5yo) can give me a death stare already at ten - no, two - paces. I'm also waiting for the specific and opinionated statements, like "You're mean," etc. You know, to qualify the "I don't like you" outbursts. I haven't had that one yet, but I have had plenty of "Go AWAY" moments and "I don't love you". Doesn't it just make your heart seize?

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  10. Tears. In my eyes right now. Heart broken, heart mended, heart broken, heart mended - such is parenthood. :S

    Btw, you came up with the perfect way to deal with it - especially considering you had all of 3 seconds to come up with such a great response.

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  11. Well done! When they get bigger they say it more, and with more conviction. It hurts like hell.

    Personally, I get the little buggers back by responding with "Well I still love you, so ner!"

    Yes, I am about 3 years old. But it annoys the daylights outta them, and they rarely say it anymore!

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  12. Bless her but yes, it hurts. It hurts more when they get older and they mean it to hurt you too. Kids, who'd have them?!

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  13. Oh, bless your heart. Wait till she's a teenager and telling you she HATES YOU! It'll happen, eventually. Until then soak up all the love you can get. Cause while the teenage drama passes fairly quickly, it's hard to handle when it shows up!

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