Yes, after 8 months, countless mind-warping phone calls, approximately 13 hours spent on hold, and a very lovely lass from the Telecommunication Industry Ombudsman, I have wrestled this national phone carrier to the ground and twisted their proverbial arm til they cried, "Uncle, Uncle, for goodness sake you invincible woman... WE GIVE!!!".
I say again, BAH HA HA!!!!!!
This all started back in June last year, when I got a $778 bill from Telstra, seperate from our normal home phone/broadband account.
When I got up from the floor, I rang this esteemed establishment to question the manner in which they arrived at this figure. I spoke to a charming man whom had no idea what the hell I was saying. Sigh.
After doing the Hold Please Hokey Pokey, I was still none the wiser. No one I spoke to could even tell me what the charge related to. Oh, yeah sure, I'll pay your Mystery Bill, hold on while I get my credit card.
Much to their consternation, I told them I would not, under any circumstances be paying this bill.
They said they'd "look into it" and get back to me.
Much to my consternation, apparently they looked into it, decided I could be walked all over and sent it to a Debt Recovery firm.
Big mistake.
I informed said Debt Recovery firm I would not be paying bill. They countered by threatening me with all sorts of litigation and never-to-be-erased-for-all-eternity credit badness.
I countered by calling in the Industry Ombudsman. I have no idea what this person/organisation is, but I can't help thinking of some wise man in robes, perched atop an inaccessible mountain... only with a mobile phone and laptop.
Anyhoo, a lovely girl there (not the mountaintop, I assume) said essentially, "What!! Girl, I gotcha back, hold up."
Today, a very contrite girl from Telstra rang and informed me they were wiping the debt, cancelling any credit reporting activity and calling off their debt recovery dogs.
It is a massive testamant to my intrinsic class that I simply said, "Awesome, thank you", and not "HA HA BEEE-ATCH!!!! PWND!!!!(or however the coolkids say it), YOU WILL BOW DOWN AND GROVEL BEFORE ME!!! REAP THE WHIRLWIND SUUUUCCCKKKAAAAAASSSS!!!". Yep, massive class here.
It does make me wonder however, how many poor innocents have been scared into paying bills that were basically imaginary. Or what about people who have their bills direct-debited?? It's all very well simply being obstinate and refusing to pay, but once the money has been taken out of your account, imagine how fun it would be trying to get it back??
