Muse-ic for the Soul

Yesterday, out of nowhere, I got an idea for a book. Even more amazingly, as I started sketching out my idea, it began fleshing itself out, giving me ways of connecting plotlines and characters. Whole conversations even started playing in my head, and my fingers were literally flying over the keyboard trying to keep up.

Now, my husband has been encouraging me to write a book for ages, but I have always been reticient. I started this blog as a little baby-step towards bringing writing into my life, but until now I have always struggled to build a whole book out of any idea I'd had. A book I'd want to read anyway.

I sat down last night and wrote, and wrote, and wrote. I hit a bit of a snag on my main characters occupation, I really liked it, but couldn't find a way to make it work with a plotline I wanted to follow later on. After obsessing over sleeping on it, I woke up this morning with a solution and have been re-writing since. I was sad to see my first part go, mainly because it was the first section I'd written, but also because it had some great dialouge. I'm hoping to use it elsewhere, but much happier overall with how the pieces fit now.

This whole thing has got me well, very excited actually, but also thinking about muses, inspiration and the writing process in general. I used to think that people were being vague and a bit 'airy-fairy' when I would hear them talk about the 'process' and 'letting a story reveal itself' and so on. The thought of a story wafting around in the ether, waiting to show itself to some unsuspecting writer seemed a bit daft to me. But the way this idea seemed to take on a life of its own has got me re-thinking that idea.

It's a little bit like what I have seen Elizabeth Gilbert talk about, as shown in the clip below - it's a bit lengthy, but well worth a look:



Did you watch it? No? Yeah, I tend to skip them too. Basically, she talks about how the ancient Romans believed that people themselves weren't geniuses (geni??), rather they had a genuis, sort of like this divine attendant spirit, visiting them and bestowing gifts of creativity and inspiration. Kind of what we call muses now. Or, as Elizabeth puts it, a bit like Dobby the House Elf.

I sort of get what she is talking about now. It certainly felt like this story was being fed to me, rather than dredged up from inside me.

It's funny really, all my life I have lived very much in my imagination, but only now am I realising that perhaps these daydreams might translate into something else. Perhaps they are my own little house elf's way of inspiring me. Either way, I think the obsessive side of my nature has come back to the fore. My Mum dropped in for a visit today just after hubby and GG had gone to the shops, and I was desperately trying to get down a description of a scene that had just come to me before I lost it. I "sshhh!!!"'d her and wouldn't let her speak to me til I'd got it down. Nice, huh?

Hmm... looks like some fun times for my family coming up!!!

Marriage and the Tribe

I recently read an excerpt of Committed, the new book by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat Pray Love) on how a laughing Hmong grandmother made her question her expectation of marriage and its ability to single-handedly fulfil you and offer you everything you need in life.

I liked it very much, but I’m not going to quote her verbatim (because now I can’t find the damn thing!!). Basically, whilst contemplating her second marriage, she asked other women about their marriages. She just happened to be in a Hmong village in northern Vietnam, where life is lived in pretty much the same tribal fashion as thousands of years ago. You know, the way our brains are still programmed to think.

So she began questioning a group of women, particularly a lovely grandmother, on their marriages, and when they knew that their husbands were the love of their life. As they were laughing their heads off at her, Elizabeth had an epiphany. Perhaps, whilst their marriages were an important part of their lives, these women relied on more than just one relationship for happiness. Marriages in this part of the world are far more practical than romantic. Maybe they had their need for connection, fulfilment, support, commiseration, empathy, and child-rearing assistance met in other ways... by each other perhaps. By their tribe.

I am a big believer in this. Whilst I love my husband, and he is a great partner, father, provider etc., I don’t rely on him to fulfil every facet of my life. My happiness is not solely his burden. Apart from the responsibility we must take for ourselves to be happy, I do think human connections are essential for happiness, at least for me. But how can we possibly rely on one person, no matter how wonderful (and usually of a different gender no less), to single-handedly raise us up? So I have a wide circle of family and friends who all offer their gifts. Don't get me wrong, my marriage is very important to me, but it's not the sole source of my happiness.

Then I read Thea’s latest post at Do I Really Wanna Blog about friendships and the different styles of friendship different people have to offer. This too resonated with me. The individuals in my group of friends, not to mention my family, differ wildly. There are introverts, extroverts, religious, spiritual, atheist, drinkers, teetotallers, parents, smug married, singles, real, imaginary, 2-D , old, young, in-between, country, city, gay, straight, bubbly, melancholy, optimist, pessimist and everything else you could think of.

Each have something different to offer to me and their other friends. Different styles of friendship as Thea puts it. The thoughtful, always-calls type, the do-anything-you-need type, the fun-to-go-get-loaded-with type, the wise one you take your problems to, the ones who inspire you, hell, even the ones who kick your butt and get you back on track. All different, all just as valuable as the others.

I think it’s like this – people need a tribe; a big group of people around you, partner if you have one, family, friends and especially girlfriends to give you all the aspects you need – you don’t expect your husband to spend hours trawling the shops and drooling over the men of Desperate Housewives do you??